My trip to India was life transforming, I had a huge shift in my mindset. While in Nikora, I not only believed, I now knew. I felt the presence, I felt my body disappear. The night of the pranpratishta, sitting there on the outside of the temple, I was balsting through consciouness. Silent, nothingness, void but so deep so high.
After the cermony was over, I started out on to the dark river and I no longer existed. I was like a zombie standing and staring silently, just staring into the darkness of the night, with the light fill me. I felt as if I didn’t exist, yet i was one with this universe, one with everything. I had got exactly what I came to get!
Once I went back to the states, back into what I like to call the “choas zone”..lol. I started have more realizations about my realationship with the Universe. I started feel the Universe shifting itself around me. I felt it through my being, through my body.
I remember this time specifically because lot of change in my occured. I became the leader in my business and I didn’t do anything differently. I felt differnt and the things I needed to do to be the leader in the business, just started happening on autopilot.
The Nikora experience gave built a strong knowingness, a strong trust in me and along with that came much confidence. Because now I have God on my side, I don’t believe in God, I KNOW IN GOD! It’s not a question of is God listening or helping me, he’s with me in every moment in every breath, I FEEL HIM!
A problem I was having after getting back to the “Chaos Zone” was losing sight of him at times. He never left me, but at time I forgot he was there. I found myself turning to him when I needed him, instead of just letting him be with me always.
What happens when you forget he’s always with you? You feed into the bullshit reality, being emotionally tied to this nonsensical world. The drama, the problems, letting what I observed around me effect me. Stress, anger, fear, pressure, fustration. Over all I was very joyous and peaceful, but at times I let these negative energy infiltrate me and they we’re taking their toll.
Then it hit me, again! This time with a more clear sense of how to handle this life. SILENCE! SILENCE! SILENCE! Don’t think, let it happen. Let it come to you. Whatever so it is. You just sit there silently and as it comes to you, you do what is necessary with it.
In other words, I surrendered. I wanted nothing for myself, my only purpose in this life is to serve others. I had all that i ever wanted and needed right here inside of me, everything. So I gave up, I gave up everything. No desires left. I am here only to serve whatsoever God requires of me.
“When slavery is by choice it is freedom, but if freedom is without choice it is slavery. Freedom and slavery are clearly demarcated entities. If we have chosen slavery of our own will it is freedom, but if freedom is imposed upon us it is slavery.” – Osho
I chose to become a slave! I was looking to free myself form slavery, I was looking for freedom, to free myself from this world. I found that my freedom is in slavery to the Universe. Amazing how this works! Thanks Osho!
Serve this Universe, that’s what freedom is. The catch is you cannot be handed a belief about this, the words I say are just words. Until you know it, it dosen’t matter. You cannot be told, serve the Universe and you’ll be free. It dosen’t work like that. You must surrender yourself!
